creative burst of energy

amidst jane's recovery, there is also rebirth.

she conjectures that this breast cancer occurrence has brought us face to face with our own mortality ... as if parenting does not remind us of this all the time. although right from the get go jane is handed a very good prognosis for a speedy and full recovery, it's hard not to have the flip side launch in your brain - no matter how optimistic you are.

so we play out these little scenarios of 'what if' - how would either of us manage without the other ... and i'm talking pure logistics here. not love, or looking out over a sunset in our golden years - simply, how would it all work if something were to happen. the decision making, being in two places at the same time, balancing work with a well-rounded family life, still making time for charitable efforts, etc..

i suppose that all of this, coupled with the fact that we've been in an 'interrupted' mode of sorts since november, has taken it's toll. the unexpected fringe benefit is that there is a lot more power, determination, and drive in the air - or at minimum, in the house. a creative burst of energy of sorts. whether in tidying up and getting rid of stuff, or in realizing new and exciting art pieces, we find ourselves - through our endeavors - looking ahead. and that's not just the regular forward thinking (what's happening over the summer? when is marlee's middle school graduation? when is baseball season starting?). no, this is really a much more profound vision. it is one of hope, of renewal, of life affirmation. it's also very empowering after emerging from a period where there's been precious little control over anything at all!

it's nice whipping everything into shape, producing, refocusing, and just doing it!

h