feelin' bad

oh, how i wish i was home ...

had i left africa on thursday evening, i could have potentially been back to hold jane's hand as she found out that she needs chemo ... of course, she's great and will be fine, but somehow the distance at this particular moment seems positively dreadful.

my flight to nairobi and bruxelles is cancelled late in the afternoon, stranding me here for another 24 hours - missing my 'day' in europe on the way back (paris is cancelled for tomorrow), so sunday and monday will involve a lot of flying. i've overstayed my welcome, my place is back at home at this moment, and i feel horrible!!! i am staying at a depressing hotel in kigali, courtesy of brussels airlines, but thankfully there is fast and reliable high speed internet - a first here - so i can video chat and skype with the kids, my parents, and jane.

jane has coffee with noushin, and feels prepared to go forward ... she speaks to the kids about what is involved, and the physical changes (hair loss, fatigue) that will take place, as a result of the treatment. we still have two other tests that we're waiting on, so there may yet still be further ramifications. the february family trip to hong kong and tokyo will be cancelled, and friday nights will be a somewhat low key affair for the next few months, as this is the day of treatments.

i go sit at the pool bar after dinner to drown my sorrows with mutzig beer, and type furitively on the laptop, when a young lady approaches - basically harranging me that i should go upstairs with her and enjoy a nice evening. boy, did she pick the wrong night and person to hit on!!! jane is rather flattered (and incredulous!!!) when i relate the story to her ... am i that old jane???

anyhow, back in my room, ALONE, ready to conk out. tomorrow i'll spend the day by the pool enjoying the warm african sun and thinking that i missed the boat - should have left two days ago and made my way back to NY!!!

ugghhh...

h