mother goose

trimming flowers
taking showers
making the bed
massaging her head

i take time to workout
or else i would shout
i then eat my yogurt
and throw on a t-shirt

o, what's a caregiver to do
when the patient's so dear to you?

unwrapping each gift box
pairing her comfy socks
fluffing the pillow
see the sheet billow

keep track of the presents
roast a few pheasants
answer her calls
drive past the malls

o, what's a caregiver to do
when the patient's so dear to you?

toast her some bread
with cheese she's well fed
stay away from her stitches
and all other hitches

make her laugh at noon
even sing her a tune
fall apart around 4
she picks me up off the floor

o, what's a caregiver to do
when the patient's so dear to you?

fetch her some water
make the thermostat hotter
wait, she said colder
(i'm starting to smolder)

call her mother and father
it's really no bother
drop off her letter
i see she's much better

o, what's a caregiver to do
when the patient's so dear to you?

to target i take her
i'd never forsake her
she's really not taxing
just emailing (not faxing!)

get the slippers, her book
blowdried hair, a new look
reach for the glass,
she's no pain in the ---

o, what's a caregiver to do
when the patient's so dear to you?

i make her lie down
in her pj's, a clown
and with never a frown
in her silk dressing gown

she can't stomach my lattés,
and the same for rich patés,
paris won't be cool
if she gives up this gruel!

o, what's a caregiver to do
when the patient's so dear to you?

to the doctors we'll go
to put on a good show
they'll tell us what's new
and what she must do

the kids think she's fine
i'm happy she's mine
friends call night and day
my mom shrieks 'oy vay'

o, what's a caregiver to do
when the patient's so dear to you?

dear friends pop by
i whip up a pie
and with some creme fraiche
our relationships mesh

she thinks next week she'll work
i say don't be a jerk!
she says go to kigali
or i'll go to bali

o, what's a caregiver to do
when the patient's so dear to you?

with gilda she talks
on a video box
at first thought she was mad
'bout - the blog - now she's glad

and as it turns night
some chocolate i bite
and chug back some wine
and xanax, so fine!

o, what's a caregiver to do
when the patient's so dear to you?

and as for tomorrow
we won't have much sorrow
we'll soldier along
what else could go wrong?

another day passed
it's been such a blast!
there's so much discovery
on the road to recovery ...