jane and i are considering shooting each other at the age of 50.
stents, cancers, colonoscopies, and the myriad of diseases (and tests thereof) that await us do not entice. so we are considering expiring, like old milk with yesterday's sell-by date, at the ripe old age of 50. it's all too much work ... high cholesterol, low self esteem, mid-life crisis; hypertension, hypoglycemia - too many ups and downs! how's a human to bear it all???
in the good ol' days, a decent bout of scurvy or plague would finish you off ... none of these antibiotic-resistant 'strains' to come back and haunt you. and if you were concerned about leaving your loved ones behind, there was no need for alarm, as rampant infestations generally took the whole village with them! a good thirty years of milking the cows, ploughing the wheat asunder, fetching water from the well, and then they'd find you - stiff as board, propped up in the field.
we're too fat. we're too thin. more protein. fat-free. lactose intolerant. carbs will kill 'ya. ugghhh. cat scans. mri scans. pet scans. pet dander. what's a human to do?
and even if you do make it past 50, something's always lurking around the corner. for example, take the case of the oldest living creature on the planet. recently, said mollusk, hitherto unnoticed by fish and fowl, lay dormant beneath the ocean floor. along came a scuba scientist, and recognizing it's unique lineage by the many rings generated on the shell, snatched the unsuspecting specimen and scurried back to the lab. where the unfortunate clam was expediently pried open to reveal it's actual age (an incredible 400 plus years!). and where the unlucky animal also immediately expired (as a result of being pried open to reveal that it was the oldest living creature on the planet). they just couldn't leave the poor guy alone (must have been a guy, for all the obvious reasons).
on the other hand, think of impoverished van gogh. paints a few multi-million dollar paintings and ends it all before reaping a single penny. hhhmmmmm.
on second thought, maybe we should stay along for the ride - whatever potholes it may hold in store ...
h
stents, cancers, colonoscopies, and the myriad of diseases (and tests thereof) that await us do not entice. so we are considering expiring, like old milk with yesterday's sell-by date, at the ripe old age of 50. it's all too much work ... high cholesterol, low self esteem, mid-life crisis; hypertension, hypoglycemia - too many ups and downs! how's a human to bear it all???
in the good ol' days, a decent bout of scurvy or plague would finish you off ... none of these antibiotic-resistant 'strains' to come back and haunt you. and if you were concerned about leaving your loved ones behind, there was no need for alarm, as rampant infestations generally took the whole village with them! a good thirty years of milking the cows, ploughing the wheat asunder, fetching water from the well, and then they'd find you - stiff as board, propped up in the field.
we're too fat. we're too thin. more protein. fat-free. lactose intolerant. carbs will kill 'ya. ugghhh. cat scans. mri scans. pet scans. pet dander. what's a human to do?
and even if you do make it past 50, something's always lurking around the corner. for example, take the case of the oldest living creature on the planet. recently, said mollusk, hitherto unnoticed by fish and fowl, lay dormant beneath the ocean floor. along came a scuba scientist, and recognizing it's unique lineage by the many rings generated on the shell, snatched the unsuspecting specimen and scurried back to the lab. where the unfortunate clam was expediently pried open to reveal it's actual age (an incredible 400 plus years!). and where the unlucky animal also immediately expired (as a result of being pried open to reveal that it was the oldest living creature on the planet). they just couldn't leave the poor guy alone (must have been a guy, for all the obvious reasons).
on the other hand, think of impoverished van gogh. paints a few multi-million dollar paintings and ends it all before reaping a single penny. hhhmmmmm.
on second thought, maybe we should stay along for the ride - whatever potholes it may hold in store ...
h
No comments:
Post a Comment