child friendly

ahhh, to kick back and have some time with the kids ... a very nice break from the routine, and from the events of recent months. both jane and i are really, really relaxed, having enjoyed a non-stressful week in south miami, filled with comfort, fine weather, great food, and time. no pressures, no need to get up, get going, or get anywhere quickly or on time.

last evening we enjoy an early and quick dinner - the kids are relieved, not having to 'dress up' in jeans and t-shirts ... ugghhhh! actually, they've been great this week - very funny, very at ease (sleeping until all hours, running around in bathing suits, reading, etc..). there's been no shopping, and miraculously, no tv (despite the availability) ... just outdoor time together, quite heavenly. fruit, salads, smoothies, obligatory wine (jane and i) - just perfect. lots of laughter (mostly at jane's expense!) too. that girl!

we also catch baby mama, the new flick featuring most of the cast of saturday night live. the theater is filled to the brim with 15 year olds, and our own teens are delighted at the prospect. what i find more interesting is that, despite their independent natures, they are still happy to go to the movies with us on a friday night (and not feel horrified at the prospect!). it's kind of nice that we can all share a few common interests at this point in their lives.

vacation draws to a close on sunday ... a stop in atlanta to see john and hope and gang, then into nyc to see robbin and larry, then home for a chametz dessert with ro and mitch - long but fun day!

equilibrium

as jane mends, quite well actually, and SO much quicker with this land round of chemo, i believe that we are mentally assessing, adjusting to, and recovering from this experience. which does not mean to imply that it is definitively over, but we have crossed through a major barrier.

i would say that we are having growing pains. our reality has shifted, coinciding with teenagers growing up in the house, our desire to propel ourselves further in our work, and opening up our lives to a broader world. the impending election, impending over-fifty, impending empty nest ... all things coming up on the horizon. of course, not immediately, but the next wave in a certain sense.

and we really aren't there yet. the past six months have been focused on the moment, and really not too much beyond that. so as we shed this 'skin' we need to find a way to cope with what's next. really, in some ways this has been the toughest thing to go to ... when one is preoccupied with the present, it's strange to regroup and think about the mid and long term again.

ironically, as we are now more 'in the clear', our lives seem heavier, more serious, more tense. perhaps it's just clearing up from the last little while - we have been throwing out everything that's not nailed down. and certainly, the huge effort involved in keeping all the pieces moving since november - regular work, the kids' schedules, dinner on the table, a normal social life - has also taken it's toll. so instead of lightness and gaiety, we're experiencing something more somber. and remarkably, this is uncharacteristic, as we rarely have such issues with transitions ...

thankfully, everyone has 'hung in there' with us, maintaining contact as usual, because i could see how it would be feasible for us to shut ourselves off. not on purpose or for any particular reason, but simply because we're in this mode of confusion and construction. gearing up for life as usual does not seem to be so easy or as smooth of a transition as what we had imagined or hoped for ...