colon farrell

oh, how to be of a 'certain age'. this morning i undergo a colonoscopy-on-the-run ... in and out with a clean (and after yesterday's prep, i do mean CLEAN!) bill of health. why now, pre-50 per the normal recommendations? simple - jane's stint with breast cancer ... shaken to the core, feeling vulnerable and as if our bodies could turn on us at any moment. i do a stress test, am checked out like woody allen - head to toe - still convinced that the other shoe could drop at any moment.

of course, all of that fatalism for both of us is balanced by driving into the city each night in a tiny car, negating the heavy trucks and city fumes all around us ... all in pursuit of the perfect glass of wine and cheese plate at oh-so-hip out of the way spots. living life as if all that is noted in paragraph one doesn't really pertain to us.

so, it's really a matter of balancing being close to 50, wanting to be 25, and falling somewhere in the middle.

life is complicated! and fun ...

fireworks and the fourth

a rainy morning inaugurates the 4th of july - the first one that we've actually spent at home in some time ... it seems as if we're always traveling on this day, so it's nice to wake up to a quiet house and even a light drizzle.

this year an energy exists (energy crisis too!) - maybe a frantic energy - which we are sure is brought on by 'feeling behind the eight ball' since november. firmly back on track and in the saddle, jane and i take stock and realize that (whether it's actually true or just a sensation) we need to somehow get ahead. jane is really back to her old self and feels terrific, and we are in fact relaxed and rested. we've kind of journeyed through these various stages, coupled with seeing the kids grow exponentially day by day, and now sense that it's our moment to be selfishly proactive. or perhaps selfish is the wrong adjective - probably just proactive in general. work (most important for mental sanity right now). diet and exercise (well under way). health (check - all tests and meds in progress). house (organize and revamp as required). friends (see spontaneously). film and cinema (catch up). new york (explore - see waterfall project, drink copious amount of wine a dark, hip bars in the evening).

it's a tall order, but will prove to be an exciting and interesting time in the summer months. it's all ours, and we're looking forward to grabbing the moment and making the most out of it ...

independence day takes on a whole new meaning! happy 4th ...

h