stay abreast of the situation

i have to get this off my chest -
(sorry for the off-color humor, it’s been a long day!)

jane is great, and has come through today’s surgery with flying colors! she’s resting comfortably in a private room, pressing the morphine button (wish i had one!) but not complaining too much - mostly she, her team, and i are most thankful that she has come out of the operation doing so beautifully. more critically, everyone is most happy with the containment of the breast cancer, and we are all hoping for the best! she is equally thrilled with the results, albeit a bit groggy ...

thanks to her medical team - such amazing and expedient treatment, all of you (our family) for your words of support, and the staff at winthrop university hospital! we’re feeling the love!

a long day passing quickly:
1. kids out of the house, somewhat non-plused by everything (great) and all set to sleep out at friends tonight
2. driving to the plastic surgeon, we feel like abraham and isaac - i take jane to sacrifice (and she is waiting for the administering angel of mercy to tell her ‘never mind’!)
3. my semi-fainting spell upon hearing the details of surgery in doctor’s office
4. the timely and efficient manner in which jane is tested, processed, injected with dye, etc.
5. moving through the basement (bowels of the hospital) giving us intense feeling of being in the movie coma with genevieve bujold - positively draconian!
6. the operation, just on time
7. depressing and gloomy meteorological situation, brightened with visits of wise clergy, ben’s hard-salami-sandwich bearing friends, and medical friends bearing updates ...
7. listening to maroon 5 on andi’s ipod while straining to read the new york times with reading glasses
8. wearing every amulet known to man - giant magen david, israeli knit cap with hebrew text, moroccan magen david ring, three jewish star bracelets from jaffa market, new silver and red kabbalah bracelet gifted last night to jane
9. finally, surgeon appears with good news - second surgeon then appears, and we’re done - yeah
10. seeing jane, with flat-ironed hair in recovery, looking great and so happy with the news!!
11. talking to the kids, they’re good, relieved ...

calls, texts, and good karma sent by all really helps - merci!

more tomorrow, thanks for checking in!!!

h

uptown, downtown

jane is sleeping in. really sleeping in. 9:30 and she's not up yet. i ride the dreaded stationary bike to stave off any more heart incidents (angioplasty '03).

when i bring the coffee upstairs, jane is awake and typing on the laptop. "you have GOT to give it a rest until we go to the surgeon on wednesday", i profess. she's just checking her emails. she's frayed. now she's thinking about work, life, schedule, and the impact that her illness will have on time, money, the kids. slow and steady ... hmmm. how will we handle all of this? jane's work is our constant source of income (mine is more sporadic), and something that is a big part of her life (and her patients' lives). this is where our health insurance is, no small matter in this crazy country, so there is concern. upon jane's physician's recommendation, we have selected a surgical team which is 'in network' - we've heard that they're great, and practicing from jane's hospital i'm confident she'll get exemplary care. jane calls hadas, a close friend who also works at the facility and knows this group - glowing reviews, for both technical skill and bedside manner.

we'll need to see if the cancer has moved beyond the breast tissue, to the 'nodes' - whatever that may be (i have only a vague idea). i'm supporting her and not going crazy - yet - with online research, treatment options, prognosis, etc.. we'll just get through this week and see if we can schedule the operation in a timely manner, hopefully before thanksgiving so she can rest over the long weekend.

since i am the parent that has been working from home, shuffling the kids about, doing the laundry, the groceries, the cooking, we're covered on that front. what about the rest? it's funny, i've been talking about going back to work 'outside of the house' full time for the last few months - sort of 'plug back in' if you will, now that the kids are on semi auto pilot - and now i'm thinking that i may HAVE to do that sooner rather than later ... steady income, healthcare and other benefits, etc.. whatever it takes, no big deal. i can cobble something together - architecture, design, food, writing, art, travel, etc.. maybe start a bakery café?

we take advantage of the free the afternoon and spend it in the city ... marlee has a friend with her, and we pop in to visit our friends, have a pleasant lunch on the east side, then go downtown. we hook up with alan & becky, newlyweds, in union square to hand-deliver a wedding gift to them (a drawing by me). while looking at them, jane and i are both thinking the same thing: how couples travel down a road together. for better or worse. the ties that bind really do gird you together ... just a short time ago we were fresh-faced and wide-eyed, unscathed by life. despite it all, we both feel lucky, happy, even fortunate - jane keeps telling me it could be a lot worse. i think she's right.

an hour at the strand bookstore, then magnolia cupcakes (us on line, the kids in biography bookshop and juicy couture, running back just as it's our turn to invade) - vanilla cake, cupcakes, cookies, so good! not really comforting (what do they mean, comfort food?) but a yummy treat.

we settle into bed. jared is out, teenage land. marlee's having a sleepover at home, andi snuggles between us, and we have a glass of wine and watch rear window on the laptop. i'm asleep in five seconds, but jane and our youngest go on to see the whole movie - bravo jane!