as we move further and further away from jane's initial diagnosis in the fall of last year, and the ensuing treatments which have restored her good health (and wreaked havoc on our collective mental health!), we gain new perspective.
sometimes, resolve comes in the form of fortitude - battle against 'the enemy' (disease in this case). and sometimes, we endure events in life, either good or bad, which make us take stock of what's around us - what is worthy, and what is not.
and then, the most profound changes of all can come with no thought or consciousness whatsoever. that is most definitely what i am going through now, and in fact, have been going through since april - unwittingly! it has come to my attention, just as a good bout of family harmony often does, that things have changes, at least for me. i can see clearly. there are very few 'gray' areas.
i'm sure that this is directly attributable to the events of the past few months ... decisions seem to be yes or no, this or that, now or later. there is no (never-ending) series of options, as there is not future time to act. the moment is now. the choice is A or B. and nothing seems muddled or murky. it's all clear, and what's even more exciting is, it's all easy.
this seems like a paradox to me, particularly after all of the ruminations i've gone through on the uncertainties of life, old age, chance and happenstance, etc.. after ALL that, to get to a point, with no effort, that affords me clarity in taking action ... well, frankly, it's a gift!
so another day, another series of things to ponder, discuss, deliberate - and here i am. lucky i don't have to pick a running mate too!
sometimes, resolve comes in the form of fortitude - battle against 'the enemy' (disease in this case). and sometimes, we endure events in life, either good or bad, which make us take stock of what's around us - what is worthy, and what is not.
and then, the most profound changes of all can come with no thought or consciousness whatsoever. that is most definitely what i am going through now, and in fact, have been going through since april - unwittingly! it has come to my attention, just as a good bout of family harmony often does, that things have changes, at least for me. i can see clearly. there are very few 'gray' areas.
i'm sure that this is directly attributable to the events of the past few months ... decisions seem to be yes or no, this or that, now or later. there is no (never-ending) series of options, as there is not future time to act. the moment is now. the choice is A or B. and nothing seems muddled or murky. it's all clear, and what's even more exciting is, it's all easy.
this seems like a paradox to me, particularly after all of the ruminations i've gone through on the uncertainties of life, old age, chance and happenstance, etc.. after ALL that, to get to a point, with no effort, that affords me clarity in taking action ... well, frankly, it's a gift!
so another day, another series of things to ponder, discuss, deliberate - and here i am. lucky i don't have to pick a running mate too!
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