i remark to a wise (but not old!) friend the other morning that jane and i have fallen into a curious new routine - at least for us, considering that we are customarily social butterflies in the summer months. and certainly a bit odd, considering events of the past year.
throughout jane's journey through her encounter with breast cancer, we stay in touch with everyone - via blog, phone calls, lots of visits, friday night dinners, saturdays with friends, sundays in the city. being plugged in not only is helpful to the kids, but we really believe that it helps in the healing process. those times - and there were only a few of them - when either jane or i weren't up to be around people, we push ourselves and remain engaged. so 'looking back', even after this short interval since all treatments are completed, we see a picture of continuity ... we move through the experience without missing a beat.
so one would think that there is a huge sigh of relief (there is), and as the kids ship off to canada for another rowdy camp period, we should(?) be whooping it up every night - dinner parties, large gatherings of friends, weekends away - right?
well, in fact the opposite has seemed to happen. we seem to be a bit 'unplugged' ... not exactly sequestered, and surely our brand of low-key socializing would perhaps strike others as full steam ahead. but it does seem, to us at least, that we've quieted down and that this summer is full of calm and introspection. we work during the day, and sometimes into early evening; i organize the house after a year of chaos; then we find our way downtown for a glass of wine in nolita.
i mention this to my friend, and she looks at me askew. "you're dating", she says. "you're dating your wife"! ahhhhh!!! it's like a light bulb has gone off. yes, that's it. we're dating - it's oddly like twenty years ago. we do our own separate thing during the day, convene at 6 or 7 pm, have a light salad and catch up on events (with nary a responsibility in sight), then spontaneously head into the city at the hour that we would normally be turning in from exhaustion.
it's quite exhilarating and fun, this dating thing!
throughout jane's journey through her encounter with breast cancer, we stay in touch with everyone - via blog, phone calls, lots of visits, friday night dinners, saturdays with friends, sundays in the city. being plugged in not only is helpful to the kids, but we really believe that it helps in the healing process. those times - and there were only a few of them - when either jane or i weren't up to be around people, we push ourselves and remain engaged. so 'looking back', even after this short interval since all treatments are completed, we see a picture of continuity ... we move through the experience without missing a beat.
so one would think that there is a huge sigh of relief (there is), and as the kids ship off to canada for another rowdy camp period, we should(?) be whooping it up every night - dinner parties, large gatherings of friends, weekends away - right?
well, in fact the opposite has seemed to happen. we seem to be a bit 'unplugged' ... not exactly sequestered, and surely our brand of low-key socializing would perhaps strike others as full steam ahead. but it does seem, to us at least, that we've quieted down and that this summer is full of calm and introspection. we work during the day, and sometimes into early evening; i organize the house after a year of chaos; then we find our way downtown for a glass of wine in nolita.
i mention this to my friend, and she looks at me askew. "you're dating", she says. "you're dating your wife"! ahhhhh!!! it's like a light bulb has gone off. yes, that's it. we're dating - it's oddly like twenty years ago. we do our own separate thing during the day, convene at 6 or 7 pm, have a light salad and catch up on events (with nary a responsibility in sight), then spontaneously head into the city at the hour that we would normally be turning in from exhaustion.
it's quite exhilarating and fun, this dating thing!
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