how i've missed you!

no, i haven't forgotten about you ... although you may feel slightly neglected, dear reader, and this is completely comprehensible. for you see, this past year, well actually, few months, have been a whizzing blur, and now that we have stepped off the merry-go-round (jane doing well, kids tucked away in quebec for the summer), we are breathing! although seeing friends and enjoying the amazing summer vibe of new york figure prominently, nothing seems to be as critical as us moving forward - running, actually, away from november! so we are in hyper drive mode - reaching for something, i'm not sure what, but it feels good.

it's wonderful having goals beyond 'getting through' if you will. and we are pushing ourselves on so many levels - quite nice! right now, it's not about 'beating' breast cancer, or planning a bar mitzvah (wonderful!), or building a village for orphans. it's blissfully just about us - and really, not even a proverbial 'us' - more of 'harley' and 'jane' doing their thing. and we meet later on in the day, and share a glass of wine, and decompress a bit, and start all over again at 5 am the next day!

it is easy, knowing that the kids are doing well. jane too. she colors her short-ish hair red the other day - not really a screaming crimson, more of a tint if you will. she looks quite charming with this short hair-do, but isn't quite ready to sport it in public - not really because of it's length, more because it's a few weeks shy of being a proper 'style'. she looks lovely in her stretch tops - and when i remark in the dressing room of h&m that her breasts look great and probably look better, she improbably ignores me and brushes me off at the same time ("they may be too big. or too low. or too something", she remarks ... nonsense i say!). too crazy.

the weekend passes so nicely, viewing the art project waterfalls with friends in brooklyn, ferrying from one restaurant to another. we catch elsa & fred, a sweetly and bitingly sentimental film at the paris theater (does life get any better than that), then jane and i treat ourselves to an exquisite and minuscule portioned meal at MoMA - heaven!

and the week rolls in - and we suddenly realize that before we turn around, we will be back on our way to canada for visiting day at the kids' camp. everything seems different this year - the kids know the drill, there is no focus on their pre-camp packing, we don't write letters (they are now replaced with daily emails, so there's no trips to the post office). this, too, leads to a sense of calm and focus on what we feel compelled to accomplish - great, really! and as opposed to last summer (rwanda/belgium/france/israel/canada a trillion times!) we are just 'around' this summer, with no set dates.

so tonight, perhaps a glass of wine and some olives downtown, or a bike ride along the hudson river. it will be a tough act to follow - last night we sit along the water and watch boats and sip wine with our dear friends, very impromptu. and guess what? as we leave the restaurant, the valet has left jane's car in the middle of the lot, and boom - a bmw backs right into it - bumper, trunk, etc. damaged. so it goes! back to square one ...

dissection

it seems as we emerge from events of the last few months, we are all moving more independently of each other. perhaps it's the onset of spring, or a need or desire to reestablish our own identities. identities which are not rooted in being patient or caregiver, roles that we probably have a modicum of resentment for. the will to escape that now propels us further into our own reemergence - as people, professionals, parents.

along these lines, i play hookie all day. i am fortunate to attend an intimate gathering at the united nations, where we have lunch overlooking the east river and hear the consular representative to rwanda speak about rebuilding that country. his frank and honest description of despair and hope leave him emotional at the podium. anne, the woman who is the genesis (genius?) behind the program that i am working on in africa is also in attendance at this intimate gathering, and she too speaks about her goals and vision for the youth of rwamagana and the country as a whole. all in all, a very inspiring and stimulating afternoon.

it is a glorious spring day in new york city, and i stroll along fifth avenue - no email, no phone, just new york and i. i put everything else outside of me - and just focus on this great feeling. i catch a french movie mid-afternoon at the sumptuous paris theater - what could be better - and when i retract myself from the cinema at 6:15 it is still light out. the streets are filled with italian families who have flown over on the cheap to celebrate their 'easter break' and shop with their strong euros. i make my way to the museum of modern art, where i am attending a wine and cheese reception sponsored by carleton university. i sip chardonnay and munch on goat cheese, overlooking the spectacular sculpture garden of this venerable institution. this too is an intimate gathering, only ten people, so it's like being a kid in a candy store. we are treated to a selection of five canadian short films in the time warner theater, where laurence kardish, the moma's curator of film and a graduate of my university, frames the contents.

a short stroll through town, and i'm back in the car heading home - the kids are tucked away in bed, as is jane when i get back. marlee is packed for washington, where she'll be over the next three days with school, and not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse.

a day to myself in new york - a much needed antidote to the winter and fall, on all levels.